The Blue and Pebbledash House

I don't want to be political, I just want to make you laugh, And tell this funny story of how I fell into the bath

My story starts at the end of a night out on the lash, As I stumbled back to my house which is blue and pebbledash

I fumbled with my keys and then I heard a splash, as they fell into the puddle which was filling up the path

I slammed into my front door and with a mighty crash, I tore it from its hinges which I admit was daft

But the blow it served its purpose and I was in at last, Although my head was all befuddled and I learned slightly gashed

I went into the bathroom and turned on all the taps, and looked into the mirror which was in two parts cracked

Just my luck I thought as the blood turned black, and I felt a cold shiver running down my back

My legs began to tremble and I reached for the bath, And the cool ceramic edge on which I perched and sat

Perched and pondered, why aren't I this strong, sober, the mood turned sombre as I mulled this over

And over the edge of the bath I was slipping, I could feel only air where once I'd been gripping

My body was folded in over itself, In a way not becoming of future good health, and why did I do this, so damage my health?, I'd been running you see, from what but myself